Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category
Are you the only optimistic person you know? Perhaps that one person in your work place who loves using the word ‘no’ to any suggestion? Perhaps your spouse or loved one who is constantly negative, the kind of person that would see one tiny cloud in the sky as an indication of a gloomy day. Or even a good mate who ‘knows’ the home team will lose because…well…because he just knows it. Or that one person in your drinking group that is constantly complaining about anything under the sun.
If you are in this situation and you’re bursting with positivity and personal growth that just does not seem to be catching on with the ones you know, there are a few tactics you can deploy to get those negative bugs off. It’s important to want to change someone’s negative perception because sooner or later, their negativity can infect you! And that is the LAST thing you want!
SMILE
Always smile. Keep that frown off your face. A smile can spread on and on. When you smile you radiate happiness. When other’s see you smile, they have to return it. DO a test. Do a random smile test now. Right now! Just get into a queue at the supermarket or at the bus stand. Smile at everyone that crosses your path. Chances are you won’t get any frowns. It’s not a crime to smile. And when they do, even if they are having the toughest day of their life, just by smiling at you, a little positivity will seep into them. It can’t be helped!
COMPLIMENT
Say something nice to the person whose pessimistic vibes are really getting to you. Compliments are a great way to make someone’s day and occasionally, that good feeling will be a reminder for that person about what’s good in their life. So give a compliment but one that’s well meant and not just another cliche like “You look great!’ Something specific like “I like it when you smile, it lights up your face.usually works! You would be amazed!.
TO HELL WITH PUNISHMENTS
The worst thing you can do to a super negative person is to punish them. Let’s say your child does not have much confidence and because of that negativity, he does not do well in school, punishing the kid won’t do well for his esteem. Or if your friend is always late, teasing him or getting angry at his lack of time management won’t help you one bit. In fact it might make him want to piss you more the next time. Punishments reinforce negativity, they don’t eliminate them. Which takes us to the next point.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT
If you are stuck with a person oozing negativity, gently nudge them with positive thoughts. Instead of pinpointing on the things they do wrong, point out what they do right. Say your always-late pal, if he ever happens to make it early (or earlier than usual) one day, tell him how good it is that he made it on time and how much you appreciate it. Positive encouragements will make the person feel more confident with themselves. Or if your spouse says that she thinks she’s not good enough the higher job position, don’t say ‘ Well, if you think you can’t you won’t.” instead say “You know what? I believe in you.” It’s a great way to instill positivity and motivate personal growth in any person!
We can find happiness right in our own home, our workplace, in school, in the company of our friends, etc. It is up to us to find the ways and means to achieve that happiness each of us seek and long for. However, it is essential to recognize that there is no one perfect way to find happiness. People have different ideas with regard to how they achieve happiness.
The following classifications are perceived by many people as sources of happiness:
(1) Family and friends
(2) Wealth
(3) Position/Rank
(4) Educational Achievement
(5) Fame (i.e. politics, arts, sports)
(1) HAPPINESS IN FAMILY AND FRIENDS
The very first place where happiness dwells is right in our own homes. We find happiness just by being with our family – our parents, spouse, children and grandchildren. In fact, they are our source of strength and inspiration. Having a harmonious home life gives us happiness – one that we truly cherish and treasure.
True friends are also a source of happiness. The support we get from them goes a long way in helping us to get by in times of troubles. Somehow, friends complete our life.
2) HAPPINESS IN WEALTH
A lot of people associate wealth with happiness . Almost everywhere in the world, people are preoccupied in the acquisition of wealth. They see wealth as the secret to happiness. To some, wealth and happiness are synonymous.
Not that we should despise the rich and the famous or discourage others from aspiring to be so. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of becoming rich just as long as we acknowledge that wealth has limitations. Furthermore, our priorities must be clear from the very start. Clearly, we must know what should rank first in order of priorities lest we spend our days in this world meaninglessly and without hope. The pursuit of material riches should not be on top of our priority list. How many times have we heard of people giving away millions of their wealth just for peace of mind? They live in a state of fear, that is, fear of losing their wealth through robbery or theft. They also fear for their life and the lives of those they love. These fears lead to sleepless nights, stress, tension, mental anguish, heart attack and death.
Understanding and accepting that happiness has nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth is perhaps the most liberating realization we can ever come to.
3) HAPPINESS IN RANK AND POSITION
Can real happiness be achieved through the attainment of high rank or position in society?
To many, the answer is “yes.” For most people, having a high-ranking position is synonymous to power. Such persons would have the power to rule and lead. If they become “good leaders,” they would be able to lead based on sound moral values and good work ethics. In return, they would earn their people’s trust, obedience, support, loyalty and cooperation. Eventually, they would find happiness and satisfaction doing their job.
However, any person who is entrusted with authority and abuses it would definitely be responsible for misuse of power. His position would only be a source of misery, as he will be confronted with issues such as corruption and problems like loss of public trust, public revolt, coups d’etat, etc.
History can speak for itself. How many unwanted rulers, kings, emperors, and presidents have been overthrown? A good example is former Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos, who ruled the country for 20 long years, but his reign came to an unfortunate end. He was “thrown” out of his own country by his own people and spent years thereafter in exile.
4) EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS
Can earning the highest level of education such as doctorate degrees give happiness? For people who derive happiness from learning, knowledge is power. Some successful people have attained high levels of education.
However, we hear about professional people who are successful in their own fields and yet feel miserable and depressed because they feel that something is missing in their life. We hear of doctors being sued for malpractice and negligence, of judges committing suicide, and of many other sad stories that are hard to believe but are actually happening to professional people. Does education really guarantee happiness?
5) HAPPINESS IN FAME
Fame is also associated with happiness. In sports and various careers, it is translated to victory, winning, and attaining the status of a celebrity. Are famous men and women happy?
Let’s take the case of sportsmen. They practically devote their whole lifetime practicing to be the best at their chosen sport. However, sports can be so stressful, especially when they are brought to the extreme. Imagine the kind of pressure sportsmen have to go through to win over a game. To cope with high expectations, they take prohibited drugs to have the stamina and endurance required in their chosen field!
Consider the despair, embarrassment, shame, and ridicule that they have to endure whenever they lose a game! So, let us ask ourselves – can a life exposed to such pressures and humiliation be a truly happy life?
For many, the future is bleak. The continuing escalation of prices, natural and man-made calamities, terrorism, local and global strife, family problems, poverty, criminality, famines and other crises do bring desperation and hopelessness.
Can we still find happiness in such a depressing situation? Yes, it is still possible to find happiness in such dire predicaments! What happens around us is largely beyond our control, but the way we choose to react is within our control. In short, even with all the difficulties in life, we can still achieve happiness; that is, if we want and choose to make it happen. True enough, life is what we make it! Isn’t this a wonderful discovery?
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